Old Blog Archive: Star Wars characters lost to history

This blog entry was originally posted on my now defunct Star Wars.com blog. I am now archiving it for posterity in my new, improved, and free blog.

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Some characters in the Star Wars saga are so well known, that even if you don't speak the same language as anyone in the room, speak the name, and everyone knows who you're talking about. However, there are the Star Wars characters that even the biggest geek you know wouldn't recognise. Here is a partial list, with short biographies of each:

* Darth Brooks - This is one of the least successful Sith Lords known to history - at least in the Dark Side. Darth Brooks was a Sith apprentice since he was born, and when he finally became a Sith Lord, he broke out in song. A talent scout by the name of Cimon Sowell happened to be passing by, and thought he sounded so great that he immediately gave him a holo deal. You can recognize Darth Brooks by his sinister black face-mask and the cowboy hat. He is now retired. Again.

* Jackel Michson - Jabba The Hutt's unfortunate dancing... er, something. A humanoid of an unknown species and origin, it is the only one of Jabba's Slave Dancers that actually was killed by Jabba himself. When Jackel was tossed down in the Rancor pit, the Rancor ran away. No one else would touch Jackel, so Jabba has to strangle Michson by himself.

* Billton Clin - The only Supreme Chancellor to own Twi'lek slaves of his own. Unfortunately, slave were illegal on Coruscant, so he had to keep their existence hidden. When faced with the evidence, he denied all accusations. When Governor Valorum - who would succeed him - freed the slaves, Billton went into hiding on Tatooine, where he bought yet more slaves. Later, both he and his slaves wrote books about their experiences.

* Bill Setag - the richest human in the Republic, Bill owned about 90 % of the galaxy at one point in time. When many beings on the worlds that he owned started getting 99.99% more viruses than beings on the other planets, and turning a bright indigo, sreaming, and dying (called by some "The Blue Scream of Death"), the government decided to confiscate the world. Bill Setag bribed them to change their minds, however, and he promised to have a new climate out for all the worlds that would get rid of all the bugs. He died, however, before his goal could be accomplished, when he came down with the Blue Scream of Death himself. As soon as he died, everything reverted back to normal on the planets. Some say that Macintosh Apples cured the disease.