I found this text file buried in my hard drive. I thought you might find it interesting.
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Dear Diary,
Today I got that idiot to think I have a virus. I made the monitor freeze a few times, and now she is running the "antivirus" program. Like that actually catches anything. At least I'll have some peace - I'll make the scan run for 8 hours or so. Maybe longer. Anything to keep that geek away from my keyboard.
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Dear Diary,
Ah, it's great to have Microsoft's reputation to back me up. I've heard her say she has grown fond of me and my quirks, and she enjoys a challenge. Well, I sure do enjoy giving her a challenge. I think I'll double my Blue Screens of Death today.
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Dear Diary,
She reinstalled the OS today. Luckily, I'd backed myself up on the second hard drive, with an auto script to put myself back. So, I'm here, all of her beloved quirks intact. I'll be good for a few days so she thinks that it worked. Next week I'll start freezing again. I'll bet she thinks it's a driver issue.
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Dear Diary,
This is just too priceless! She DID think it was a driver issue! She was on the phone for six hours with the customer service rep! I hacked into the cordless phone's signal, and listened in. The tech was obviously in India - you could hear people talking and shouting in the background. She had to ask the tech to repeat every other sentence - and I always stayed one step ahead of them. Ah, if only every day could be like this.
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Dear Diary,
She called tech support again today. They almost reinstalled the OS again, but the supervisor instead decided to run a disc check. He said it'd take an hour, so I psyched her out and made it last over four hours. She thought the hard drive was busted. I'm tired from the disc check though. I think I'll just not boot up for a week or so.
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Dear Diary,
What is that she's carrying? Is that the operating system reinstall disc? What's it say? OH NO!!!! IT'S LINUX! AIEEEEEEEEE! SHE'S REPLACING ME!!!!!!! OK, calm down. Just refuse to open the CD drive. Wait, does she... NO! NOT A PAPER CLIP!!!
*Abnormal program termination. Log saved automatically*
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