Introducing "Pat"

"Pat" is the name I have given a someone in my government class. I really don't remember Pat's real name, so I couldn't tell you even if I wasn't keeping this blog as anonymous as possible. I'm not trying to make Pat sound like an utter freak... I'm just showing how stereotypes can sometimes be true. Very true.

Every week, Pat always gives me something new to talk about. Here's the story of Pat.

First day of class. The teacher makes us do our whole round of introductions, like "Hi, I'm _Darth_Indy_, and I'm majoring in website development." Pat shows up wearing plaid loafers. Plaid. He sits down, crosses his legs, and once it's his turn for introductions, he says with a very slight lisp and a high-pitched voice, "I'm Pat, and I'm majoring in art."

Strike one.

Pat lays low for a few weeks, and I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. Then, three weeks ago, I overhear Pat raving about the newest musical at the community theatre. Then, during class, the teacher goes off in a little tangent about visiting Washington D.C., and that she visited Tyson's Corner, an upscale mall there. She mentions a store that sells guys suits, and that it's called "Pink." Pat leans over to the girl next to him, and whispers, "They have a guy's store called Pink? That's freakin' awesome!"

Strike two.

Last week, the teacher was talking about the voting system and the differences between demographics' voting patterns. She mentioned the "Gender Gap," which means how men vote differently than women on specific issues, such as abortion. Pat asks the teacher, "Do you mean gender as in gender, or as in sex?" The teacher just stood there, confused, until he expanded on his point: "do you mean gender as in gender identity [guy thinks he's a girl, vice versa], or sex, as in male or female when you are born?" The teacher recovered, and informed him that it meant sex as in the way you were born.

Strike three. No mistaking this time.

Oh, yeah, and this week:

Before class, Pat was talking about a documentary about homosexual penguins. I kid you not.

Also, after class I stayed behind to talk to the teacher, and so did he. It happened that the conversation drifted to the Clintons. Pat said, "I don't see what people find so hot about him. I don't find him attractive at all."

Are you even allowed four strikes?

By the way. This week we took a political leanings test. Zero points would mean ultra-conservative, while 50 points would mean ultra-liberal. I got seven. Pat got 46.

*hums "One of These Things is Not Like the Other..."*

The Story of Pat - probably to be continued.