Old Blog Archive: Tech Support - The True Story

This blog entry was originally posted on my now defunct Star Wars.com blog. I am now archiving it for posterity in my new, improved, and free blog.

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By popular demand (meaning I wanted to ;p), here's the real story behind Tech Support.

Characters:
Me
Grandma
Evil AOL Tech Support
Evil People PC Tech Support
Evil IBM Tech support

Props: (All Grandma's)
Phone with a fuzzy connection
IBM ThinkPad
Windows 98
Broken Modem

Part 1 - AOL

I call AOL Tech Support. I get the Recording Of Doom. I go through 30 minutes of unrecognised commands until hanging up. I call AGAIN and after 15 more minutes, I get a real person. (Call the news! put it in the headlines!) Bad news - I was transferred to India. The guy apparently was in the middle of English Class 1 - Part 1. Nothing against India - it's just, customer service shouldn't be there.

It's easier to make the recording understand me.

I hang up.

Part 2 - People PC

I call People PC to get a different service - maybe it will work then. Voila! I get a real person right away. (Note to self: say you want to buy and they will answer.)

Sign up. Get access numbers. Try to dial up. Nothing. Call again. No help.

Call again. India again!

He tells me to do 42 different things - none of which work. He then tells me to call the computer manufacturer. Click.

Part 3 - IBM

I get to a person finally - after the recording trumpeted the fact that I was being transfered to Georgia.

The guy guides me through a whole bunch before I realize I forgot to tell him I was running Windows 98. It's too late. It's ruined.

Part 4 - Me

I restart the computer twice. It works. I realize why people pay $50 an hour for people to do tech support for them. And that they spend it all on therapy.


And now you know the rrrrrrest of the story.