Old Blog Archive: Are We There Yet? (Dear Old Dad 2)

This blog entry was originally posted on my now defunct Star Wars.com blog. I am now archiving it for posterity in my new, improved, and free blog.

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Luke: Are we there yet?
Vader: No.
Luke: Are we there now?
Vader: We just went in to Hyperspace.
Luke: But are we there yet?
Vader: NO!
Luke: How much longer?
Vader: We'll get there at 1800 hours.
Luke: That's too long. I wanna be there NOW!
Vader: Look... I'll show you how the ship works.
Luke: Okay, daddy!

(Later...)

Vader: ...and those are the forward stabilizers.
Luke: And those control the pitch?
Vader: You catch on pretty quick.
(Vader pauses, shakes his head)
Luke: What's wrong, daddy?
Vader: Deja Vu.
Luke: What's that?
Vader: Never mind.
Luke: So... Are we there yet?

(much later)

Luke: Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddyda...
Vader: Shut up!
Luke: Why?
Vader: Look... here's a toy. It's a Choke Me Elmo, or something.
Luke: Ooooo... Gimme!

(on Tatooine: Mos Eisley)

Vader: You there!
Luke: Yeah, you!
Person On The Street Cowering In Fear: Wha... what?
Vader: Do you know where Ben Kenobi lives?
Person On The Street Cowering In Fear: Th... th... that way...
Vader: Thank You.
Person On The Street Cowering In Fear: (faints)

(Ben Kenobi's Hovel)

Vader: Obi-Wan Kenobi! Come out!
Luke: Yeah!
Ben: Hello, Darth. Have you come to kill me?
Vader: No.
Ben: What?!
Vader: Take Luke. He's driving me insane.
Luke: But daddy!
Vader: Don't argue!
Ben: Okay. Um, if you insist.
Luke: Do you have "Little Lost Bantha Cub"?
Ben: Yes.
Luke: You my fwend!
Vader: Halleujah!
(Vader runs at top speed away)